Talking about teen depression with Linh pham, lgsw

Depression is a disease that does not discriminate. It can severely affect anyone at any time in their life. And since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, more and more people are struggling with the effects of depression.

About 20 percent of teens experience depression before they reach adulthood and only about 30 percent are being treated for the disease. These numbers are staggering and heartbreaking.

As a behavioral health therapist, I have worked with teens who have struggled with depression, and I have talked with families who missed the signs that their teen was suffering.

I don’t point fingers at parents because these signs can be difficult to see as many symptoms can mimic “teenagers being teenagers.” However, parents need to know when it’s time to intervene.

Some of the signs I tell parents to look out for include low energy, low self-esteem, eating and sleeping disturbances, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, and hopelessness. If you find your teen is not enjoying activities they used to or if your teen is isolating from others that can be a major sign. If your teen is showing signs of excessive work, anger issues, slacking off in school or ‘masking’—acting as if everything is fine, it may be time for you to chat with your teen about what’s going on.

What can lead a teen into depression?

There’s a number of factors that should be considered, like low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem can be caused from lacking a healthy support system—many teens don’t have a person they can trust and share their struggling stories with. Sometimes friends can’t be trusted as they are seen as “fake,” and teens are not talking with parents because they would feel that they would be ‘yelled’ at or dismissed. Which I find disheartening. Teens need somebody to tell them, “it will be okay,” that they are doing their best, that they are beautiful and kind.

Teens in the foster care system are at risk of low self-esteem and depression also. It is hard to keep track of all the changes as teens move from one home to another. In time, they lose the sense of who they are, where they belong and how their future would look. This makes it difficult for them to feel good about themselves in their current situation.

Bullying can lead to low esteem. Teens suffering from bullying are made fun of by classmates who are immature, lacking empathy, and kindness to others.

Social media has a huge impact on the way teens feel about themselves. Constantly comparing yourself to others can certainly lead anyone to poor self-esteem.

Sibling rivalry is a common situation that can lead to teens feeling bad about themselves. Siblings often compare each other on their academic performance, sport, hobbies, friends, etc.

Athletes can also struggle with low esteem. These are the ones that usually are seen as confident, strong, ‘cool kids,’ but they struggle so much to live up to that, together with strict practice and diet routine that time and meeting expectations from various people.

Creating a positive home environment for your teen.

A teen’s environment at home and the way their family interacts with one another can lead to depression and other forms of mental illnesses. Teens need a healthy routine in place and a family atmosphere that enjoys experiencing life together rather than ‘just sitting around.’

Teens need a balance of responsibility in the house. What I usually see is the teen either doesn’t have any responsibility in the house or constantly get nagged for not finishing everything on their chore list.

Teens struggling with their parents’ divorce or separation, being taken away from family due to civil CPS cases, moving between foster homes, and changing schools can all lead to mental struggles.

Meeting a parent’s expectations.

Teens suffering from depression usually prefer to do what they think their parents or caregivers want them to do. This can lead to teens stressing out easily as soon as they recognize they don’t do things good enough whether it be academic performance, sports, or any other extracurricular activities.

Sometimes depression in teens can be hereditary. Especially in West Virginia, it is very common for depression to run in the family.

I often get asked, when or how do I approach my teen if I think they are depressed.

It’s important to reach out when you notice your teen’s behavior is ‘off.’ Signs such as eating less or more, sleeping too much, or having a hard time sleeping/falling asleep/staying asleep, getting ‘moody’ more than normal or getting agitated/angry more easily than normal with more intensity, if you find they are isolating themselves more than normal, their grades dropping, if you notice your teen wearing long sleeve shirts, long pants, hoodies in an inappropriate weather temperature they could be self-harming and trying to hide something like cutting marks mean it is time to get your teen help.

If you are not sure about how your teen is doing, you can approach their friends, ask school staff (bus driver, secretary), ask teachers, school counselor/therapist/social worker, and even the principal to see how you child is doing.

How to get your teen help?

• If your teen already has an established primary care physician, make an appointment for a wellness checkup and general assessments for depression and anxiety and referral to behavioral health.

• Parents or teens can also talk with a school counselor or principal for resources of school-based behavioral health services.

• Look for community behavioral health agencies, like the Barbour County Health Association’s Behavioral Health team, and make an appointment for intake.

If you have questions or concerns about your teen, please reach out to your provider for info on the next steps to get your teen help.